The Advocacy of Rest: Moving Beyond the "Fire Extinguisher" Mentality
I recently was invited by the women circle at Figma to share about the journey as a female entrepreneur (right after a sound journey session of course:), I found myself preparing to speak as a person to advocate for our own well-being. Below is what I’ve prepared - to talk about harmony, boundaries, and how to stay resonant in a world that never seems to stop moving.
These are the lessons that have reshaped how I navigate my own life, and they form the heart of why I advocate for sound therapy and intentional rest today.
The Pivot from "Always On"
Before my days were filled with daily resonance of singing bowls and gongs, and yoga, I lived in a world of deadlines, constant pings, and the heavy pressure to always be "on." I didn’t start advocating for self-care because I had reached some perfect state of zen; I started because I had reached a breaking point.
I realized that our modern lives are often "out of tune." We are visually over-stimulated and mentally exhausted. When I first experienced sound therapy, it was the first time my brain actually stopped task-switching. That "reset" was so profound that I knew my relationship with self-care needs to transform.
Maintenance vs. Emergency
In the world of design and structures, everything is about how things function. I want to challenge how we function.
Most of us treat self-care like a fire extinguisher—we only reach for it when we’re already burning out. But true well-being is only sustainable when it’s a Gentle Habit. In my sessions, I tell people that we aren't trying to "fix" ourselves in one hour. We are practising the art of being gentle to ourselves, be kind to ourselves - of slowing down so that we can handle the speed of life better. Sound is a powerful tool for this advocacy because it bypasses the analytical mind—the sound pave the way for you.
Three Lessons in Sustainable Boundaries
Advocating for myself taught me things I never learned in a corporate office. As women, we are often taught to be the "harmonizers"—to keep things smooth for everyone else. But I’ve had to learn a different kind of harmony:
1. The Power of Intentional Noise
I used to stay quiet to avoid "making noise." But a singing bowl only sings when it is tapped with intention. I had to learn that voicing my needs and my vision isn't being "difficult"—it’s being clear. I learned to speak up so my own truth could finally resonate.
2. The Art of the Kind "No"
I used to think "Yes" was the only way to be helpful. But I realized that you cannot pour from an empty singing bowl. Advocating for others starts with advocating for yourself. Every "Yes" to a misaligned request was a "No" to my own health. Now, I see "No, now is not the time" as a container—it protects the energy I need for the people and passions I do say "Yes" to.
3. Practicing Kind Transparency
The hardest part was being kind to myself when I felt I was letting someone down., not helping another to ease their load. Now, instead of just declining, I practice "Kind Transparency." I might say: “I’d love to support this, but to ensure I can give it the quality it deserves, I need to pass for now.” It’s honest, it’s firm, and it’s a way of honoring both my capacity and the other person's needs. And it remove ambiguity, it opens the space for trust and understanding.
The Space Between the Notes
In sound therapy session, the most beautiful moments often happen in the quiet endearing silence. Silence provides the space for clarity to beams through.
Self-care isn't another task for your to-do list. It’s the energy that allows you to do the list in the first place. My challenge to you today is to look at your own "to-do" list and find one place where a "Kind No" could create a little more space for your own growth.
You don't need to do it perfectly; you just need to do it gently.
Integration Journaling:
Tuning InwardIf this post resonated with you, I invite you to grab a notebook and spend five minutes with these prompts. There are no 'right' answers—only your own rhythm.
Maintenance vs. Emergency: On a scale of 1–10, how much of my self-care is a 'fire extinguisher' (emergency only) versus a 'gentle habit' (regular maintenance)? What is one small thing I can do daily to keep my 'bowl' full?
Intentional Noise: Is there a need or a boundary I’ve been keeping quiet about to 'harmonize' for others? What would it feel like to strike that note with intention today?
The Kind "No": Look at your schedule for the coming week. Is there a 'Yes' that feels heavy or discordant?
Kind Transparency: How would it feel to offer a 'Kind Transparency' response instead?
The Space Between the Notes: Where in my day is there a gap of silence? If there isn’t one, how can I design a 5-minute 'rest' that isn't about scrolling or task-switching, but simply being?
May you find the resonance that makes your heart feel safe again.
Carrie Choong
